Let me start by saying I am not a beach chick.  In fact I don’t really care for sand or saltwater at all.  I love laying by a pool looking at the beach, hearing the waves and birds, all while enjoying a cocktail of some sort.  I will stay at the lake for as long as possible with morning pontoon rides, afternoon tubing, food, drinks, friends.

I remember when the boys were little going to the beach for summer vacation.  I remember all the stuff we had to pack just for a weeks stay and all the stuff we had to lug from the house to the beach and to the pool and then back again.  It truly sucked, and any of you who say otherwise is totally lying.  The beach was fun when the boys were little, we built sandcastles, buried each others feet, picked up every seashell we saw.  The boys ran around a laughed and played and acted like kids.  Then they got tired or hot or hungry and we got to pack all the stuff up and head back to the house.  It was fun while it lasted for a couple of hours.

As the boys got older our summer vacations got better and longer and easier.  We would go to Sea Island and stay at the boys grandparents home for several weeks.  It was awesome, friends came with us for a week then different friends came, sometimes it was just us and sometimes there were several families down at the same time.  Gone were the days of luging “beach stuff” from the house.  Now the older boys grabbed a bike threw a pair of flip flops in the basket and were off down the street and back again all day long.  They were old enough to go to the pool by them selves, get food at the cafe and sign up for activities they wanted to try out.  Myself and our youngest played in the pool, had ice cream sundaes, searched for sharks teeth and just chilled out with or without anyone else.  There were tons of kids to help entertain each of them all day long.

I remember one summer walking around the pool deck to find chairs for all of us to use for the day.  All around me were seemingly harried moms of toddlers and elementary aged kids.  They were laughing and talking with other parents but always keeping an eye on the little ones just in case.  I remember thinking how I sooooo don’t miss the days of chasing kids and changing diapers and bribing a kid with ice-cream to get him to eat one more bite of lunch.  I didn’t miss hearing “mom, mom. mom!!!” every 5 minutes, or just getting settled only to have to walk to the other pool or the beach because one of the boys was bored or missing.  I didn’t miss the fights when it was time to go home and get ready for dinner or the crying fits of pure little kid frustration.  I just sat our bags down walked to the bar and ordered a drink and grabbed a book or hung out with who ever was with us.

I really don’t miss any of those things mentioned above. Now it’s become different things I miss about spring or summer break or even just weekends.  The boys are all able to basically stay alive without me watching them constantly.  I mean they can drive from point A to point B, they can use a credit card buy food and gas, they can hang with friends until midnight as long as I know where they are, they can get dressed, wash clothes, etc.  I mean vacations now are super simple and easy, no stuff to lug, no crying fits, no diapers, no food bribes.  Easy peasy – …

There are also…

no walks on the beach just talking about nothing – no holding my hand asking a million questions about everything – no contests to see who can find the biggest sharks tooth – no crazy pictures of the boys being crazy boys – no fighting over who gets to sit where on the way to dinner – no movie nights – now don’t get me wrong we still do lots of things together, usually involving the lake and a million friends, but its not the same as having little ones.

Having teenagers makes vacations and weekend breaks a little more “theirs” than “ours”.  I love the friends that are always with us, and I love that the boys actually have friends that do want to hang out with us, because come on we are tons of fun.  I love that they still ask to go places and understand that we the parents will be going also because hey 18-16-13 on their own makes for a giant headache for everyone.

This is Spring Break 2018 and its also senior year.  A lot has changed in 18 years and I’m sure there will be more changes to come, because this year is a big one.  This is the “mom I just want to hang with my friends at beach”, “I am not hanging with Tay or Jax, mom please tell them to hang with their own friends”, “mom the big room with all the beds on spring break is for us right”,”mom do we still have to be in by 12 because we are all 18″, (yes you do).  It is a hard vacation and break year because its the end of one kids childhood, and just the beginning of some other “something – hood” I’m not sure what to call yet.

So for the next few months I will hold on to as much of that stuff “I don’t miss” and move forward into this next “something – hood”.  I will cherish every second of vacation and breaks and weekends that I’m included in and I will hold on to that one laughing crazy little boy while I slowly let him grow…as for the other two boys, well let just say I should be a pro at all this by Jax’s senior year…nope.

It’s the kind of break that is all their’s and it always has been…

Do you ever wonder how in the world you got to this point, having the conversations you have on a daily basis?  Please remember I have a house full of teenage boys as you continue on.

Think of all the things you have said as a parent to your kids.  Beginning when they were newborns to this very second.  I am sure several conversations or “lines” pop immediately into your head.  The first one that pops into my head is “don’t pee on your brothers cleat it’s in the toilet”.  I mean no one without kids would ever say that right?  And then there is the standard parent line “because I said so that’s why”.

But how now at 18, 16, 13 in 20018 did we get to this point,  where everything that comes out of our mouth is so important,  and the way you talk to your kid has to be thought about just to make sure they understand what you really mean.  I never remember my mom and dad having to tell me do not to eat a tide pod, do not to shoot anyone, do not be a bully, do not to steal, do not to be rude to adults, do not disrespect authority, do not act like an idiot.  I mean all those things are common sense right?  Thinking about it now I don’t think we have told our kids do not do any of those things either, because hello they do half half a brain 99% of the time.

But I scares me to death every time they go out into the world, because come on lets face it the world has gone completely insane.  “Hey mom I’m going to the mall” please God keep him safe.  “Hey mom is it ok if I go to the movies tonight?”, please God let the policeman in the lobby be actively paying attention to the other guests.  “Hey mom I’m going to stay at Billy’s house tonight”  please God let them all make smart decisions.  “Hey mom I’m headed back to college” Oh God help me that one is coming quick and I might not survive (totally another post). It seems that everyone has an opinion on what needs to be done to get our kids back on track.  Well I’m going to give you my opinion and you might not totally agree, hell (sorry) you might not agree at all  but that’s ok because it’s only an opinion.  Guess what I will not be offended either  – sigh…

I was not a great kid, those that know me well know all about my past and how crazy I was.  You know I had a baby super young, you know I took a taxi to Athens at 14, you know or maybe you don’t that I was even a teenage bride (only good thing that came out of all that BS was Joshua) – oh don’t get me started on that either (maybe that is another post too).  Anyway I was a teenager that my mom was sure was possessed at age 14 and then one day I was normal again.  I assure you I was not possessed but I was a teenager pushing the limits and breaking my parents rules just like I’m sure each of you did at some point in some way.  But never in my entire life;  now included,  did I ever think it was ok to do the things we see on the news everyday.  Whether it be stupid crap kids do because they can’t think 2 seconds ahead to what might happen to them.  Or the really horrible stuff that for some reason common sense should say no don’t, but their common sense doesn’t kick in.

So here is my solution  – wait for it…

and like I said agree or don’t I really don’t care either way…

How many of your parents spanked you?  I’m talking being told to go pick a willow branch off the tree out front or go get dads leather belt or my moms personal favorite the “spank spoon” (wooden spoon from the kitchen that was specifically for smacking your butt).  Also how many of you got spanked at school?  I went to MPC back in the day and “big blue” was a paddle we all knew and feared.  And you know what we didn’t fear it because it hurt, I mean it did hurt – a lot, but we feared it because after it was all over you got a big hug and told how much you were loved and how capable you were of doing better, and you felt like crap because you knew you did wrong and disappointed someone who mattered to you.

So there it is,  my opinion on the state of the kids in this world and how we cold have fixed it before the younger generation fell apart.  You know what’s funny though?  We didn’t really spank our kids but maybe a couple of times in their lives.  Are they perfect, heck no, but I promise you they know right from wrong when it really matters and I promise you they have a good amount of common sense because they care what people think of them.

What do you think?